A STEP BEYOND EXPECTED

Story by PA3 Barbara Patton,
Photos by PAC Tom Sperduto

Mary begins. Her voice breaks as she tries to stifle tears. Herb tightens his embrace on her shoulder. "Easy", he says. She resumes by saying the Coast Guard Auxiliary and the friends he has do a lot to help them deal with his condition.

You can usually find 78-year-old Herb Haeger shuffling down the hallway at the Coast Guard auxiliary office in New York City on Tuesdays and Thursdays. His Coast Guard uniform is held up by suspenders and his rows of ribbons reflect his years of service. From his jovial nature you may never suspect he is terminally ill.

"How are you feeling?" is a question regularly asked of Haeger when he arrives.

"I feel great!" he says as he makes his way to his desk to begin compiling data from vessel inspection reports.

It is common to note a spring in Haeger's step as he climbs the stairs to his office Tuesday mornings, the day following his weekly chemotherapy treatments for his prostate cancer.

Thursdays are different. It's difficult for Herb to make it up the three flights of stairs to his office. He is hunched over and pauses every few steps. "Just to catch my breath", he says, continuing to climb.

"I know there have been times when I felt just getting to work on time was the hardest part of the day...that was before I met Herb Haeger and realized the incredible struggle he lives", said Cmdr. Elizabeth Young, director of Coast Guard Auxiliary First District, Southern Region. "It says a lot about his individual spirit and captures the essence of a Coast Guardsman."

The Coast Guard Auxiliary is America's volunteer lifesavers and part of the Coast Guard family. They conduct inspections and training, as well as security and search and rescue patrols on America's waterways. Haeger has been serving for almost 50 years and spends his summers with the District 1 Auxiliary in New York and his winters with Coast Guard District 7's Auxiliary in Florida.

The days he goes to work, Mary gets up at 5 a.m. to prepare his breakfast and makes sure he eats well. He relies heavily on Mary - his "angel", as he calls her - to carry him through the last few days before his next treatment.

"He's so energized and never got really sick after his treatments. He always seemed to be doing so well - people couldn't believe the difference in him after his Monday trip to chemotherapy. He had this energy boost and that's what he needed. We've been doing good, truthfully, and have no complaints", Mary says.

Herb and Mary Haeger met in 1955 on a blind date around Christmas time and were married the following year. "good match", he says. "The doctors say without Mary's care giving, I might be in a nursing home right now." He gives her shoulder another affectionate squeeze as she continues to speak.

"Itâ's easy for me to be supportive for Herb because Herb is trying so hard to do what he can do" she says, wiping her tears away. Her face is drawn as she recalls times when Herb had such terrible pains in his sides that he couldn't lie down to sleep, even resorting to sleeping in their car at a motel on their way back from Florida so he could sleep upright and ease the pain.

"My doctor doesn't want me to be in this pain and he knows just by walking in the room how I feel" Herb says. The lines etched in his face and the patchy white hair left on his head are a testament to frequent chemotherapy treatments and bouts with the pain of cancer.

"Herb has been doing really good dealing with the chemo treatments, the side affects and is pretty upbeat despite his condition", says Loni Jakubowski, a physician's assistant with the Westchester Medical Group where Haeger gets his treatments. "His wife is always by his side to give him love and support, they're rarely apart when they're here."

There have also been times when Haeger has missed a few days, especially during prolonged visits at the hospital when complications arise due to his illness. It is during these times that his friends at the auxiliary office rally for him.

"Whether you're auxiliary or active duty you're part of the Coast Guard family" Young says. "When I haven't seen Herb here in a couple of days I will make a personal call and say "How you doing? We miss you - when are you coming back?" It's just like your family.

Sometimes Haeger carries a tray of his wife's peanut brittle to work, a treat highly anticipated by his friends at the Battery Park Building. Mary always makes it for his friends around Christmas in salute to the season which holds so much meaning, but there is no telling how many Christmases are left. It's a prospect no one wants to think about.

"When he's not here I miss him", said Arthur P. Reichling, the past commodore for the Coast Guard's First District Auxiliary and close friend of Haeger's. "He offers companionship during the ride to and from work. Sometimes we don't say anything at all, but it's nice that he's around."

Young says that Haeger sets an example to all who know him despite the challenges he faces.

"Not only does he show up on time two days a week, but he does so for no salary, only a sincere thank you and a sense of satisfaction in knowing his work contributes to the success of our program", says Young. "It's folks like Herb who battle their illnesses and persevere that we can all learn a lesson from."

Haeger is slowing down. It's increasingly difficult for him to come to work, but he refuses to quit. Haeger realizes every day he puts on his Coast Guard uniform it may be his last. It's in this realization that nothing is taken for granted.

"Should I feel sorry for myself? No," Haeger says proudly, adjusting the ribbons decorating his uniform as it rests on a hangar nearby. “By doing these things, I've become a fighter. The doctors tell me don't stop. Life has dealt me this hand, and I've got to make the best of it.

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